Who Are You Really Competing Against? Two Ways to Measure Success
Competition can push us toward excellence, but how we measure success can shape far more than our performance.
Written by Linda Herron
Women Sports USA®
How Do We Measure Success?
Whether we are running a race, playing on a team, or working toward a personal milestone, competition challenges us to develop our abilities, prepare for difficult moments, and discover what we can accomplish when we commit ourselves to a goal. It has always been part of sports and can bring out qualities we might never have discovered otherwise. But how we measure success matters, too: are we focused on beating someone else, improving our own performance, or both?
As a former high-level athlete, I have lived these questions. My experiences in field hockey and road racing helped shape the philosophy I bring to my work as Founder and CEO of Women Sports USA®: I can pursue my own goals while helping others succeed.
We can measure success in two ways: by how we perform against other athletes or by how we improve on our own previous performance. One asks, “Can I finish ahead of them?” The other asks, “Can I improve on what I have done before?” These approaches can both push us to excel, and many athletes draw motivation from each.
Whether we compete against others, ourselves, or both, the important question is whether that competition helps us grow and stay focused on our goals. Wanting to win is not the problem, and neither approach automatically makes someone a better athlete or guarantees good sportsmanship. What deserves our attention is whether our measure of success supports what we came to accomplish.
At the starting line, weeks of training meet the hopes we bring to a race. Both approaches can give an athlete a moment to feel proud of, but what she hopes to accomplish will shape what that moment means to her.
Chasing a Place or a Personal Best
Imagine two runners preparing for the same race. Both have trained consistently and arrived determined to perform well. One recognizes competitors in her age category and develops a strategy to improve her finishing position. Her motivation comes partly from testing herself against other runners.
The second knows her previous finishing times and has established a personal goal. She wants to find out whether her training has improved her endurance, strength, and pace. Her primary competition is against her own previous results.
Both runners can be dedicated, disciplined, and successful. Both can demonstrate excellent sportsmanship. For one, placement is a central measure of success. For the other, progress against a personal benchmark matters most. They may cross the same finish line but answer the question “How did I do?” differently.
When Someone Else’s Pace Becomes Your Goal
Most of us have heard the expression “keeping up with the Joneses.” It describes measuring our accomplishments or circumstances against others', sometimes without considering whether those things matter to us. That same pattern can appear in sports.
Imagine arriving at the gym with a plan to run three miles at a comfortable pace. That pace may help you build endurance, recover from a demanding training session, or enjoy time dedicated to your health. Then you notice that the runner beside you is going faster. That runner knows nothing about your plan. Yet you increase your speed—not because your plan calls for it, but because you do not want that stranger to be faster.
What changed? Your original plan and preparation stayed the same, but your attention shifted. Instead of focusing on the run you came to complete, you began chasing a different goal: keeping up with someone whose circumstances, abilities, and goals you may know nothing about.
Another person’s effort can certainly inspire us. Seeing someone work hard may encourage us to challenge ourselves in a positive way. The question is whether that challenge supports our purpose or whether comparison has quietly taken control.
Developing mental strength in sports can help athletes manage pressure, maintain focus, and recognize their own progress without allowing comparisons to define their confidence.
My Sister’s Success Never Took Away From Mine
I learned early that appreciating another person’s strengths did not have to mean questioning my own. Growing up with an identical twin gave me a unique perspective on achievement and competition. My sister and I played sports, and people often compared us. I was a competitive multisport athlete who loved developing my abilities and testing myself, but I never believed that my sister’s success took anything away from mine.
When she did well, I was happy for her. When I did well, I celebrated my own accomplishments. And when we succeeded together, sharing that experience felt especially meaningful. There was room for her, for me, and for us.
That perspective extended beyond my sister. I respected the different talents athletes brought to our teams and competitions. Some possessed exceptional speed, others had remarkable technical skills, and others contributed through leadership, determination, or their understanding of the game. Recognizing someone else’s strengths never required me to question my own.
Playing alongside talented athletes gave me opportunities to learn and appreciate what made each person valuable. I could pursue my own ambitions while genuinely celebrating others' achievements.
Sometimes I Scored. Sometimes I Made the Pass.
Field hockey taught me to appreciate others' success and contribute to it without seeking recognition. In high school, I played right inner, and in college, right wing. As an offensive player, I enjoyed the game's speed, creating opportunities, and advancing the ball. In college, I used my speed to pass across the field for a teammate to score or tipped the ball into the goal myself.
I never minded who scored in our games. What mattered was creating opportunities and helping our team succeed. Each player brought unique skills to the field, and I knew we needed those talents working together. Some excelled at creating scoring chances, others were great at finishing them, and our defensive players were just as crucial to our success. This collective effort is why I could celebrate a teammate’s goal with as much excitement as if it were my own.
That experience solidified a philosophy I've embraced throughout my life. You don't have to be the one receiving accolades to make a significant impact. Sometimes we score the goal; other times, we assist. Often, our most valuable contribution is giving someone else the opportunity to succeed. The scoreboard notes who scored, but it doesn't capture the full story of how the goal was achieved.
Understanding that every player contributes differently is essential to creating a positive team culture, where respect, trust, and shared success matter as much as individual accomplishments.
I never cared which one of us scored. What mattered was that we created the opportunity and our team succeeded.
— Linda Herron
The Clock Was My Competition
I ran competitively from age 19 to 45, racing marathons, half-marathons, 10Ks, and 5Ks. During those years, I loved preparing, training, and testing my abilities. Running gave me something measurable to work toward, and I focused on my own times. Could I improve my previous performance? Had my training made me stronger, faster, or more consistent? After age 45, I continued running for fun.
I finished first, second, or third overall in some races. Those results were rewarding, but they weren't the only measure of whether I ran well. After a race, I often sought out the women who finished ahead of me, shook their hands, and congratulated them. I was genuinely happy for their success because I understood the effort and commitment it took to compete.
Their achievements did not diminish mine. We shared the same course, but we did not necessarily share the same personal goals. I valued competing seriously while respecting the women around me. We can be determined to achieve our best without making another person’s performance the measure of our worth.
We can be determined to achieve our best without making another person’s performance the measure of our worth.
— Linda Herron
Finishing Behind Does Not Erase Your Progress
The women ahead of me gave me reason to appreciate what comparison can offer: information, inspiration, and opportunities to learn. Athletes benefit from observing others, studying skilled competitors, and training alongside more experienced people. Comparison is not always harmful; the challenge begins when it becomes the primary way we evaluate ourselves.
Consider an athlete who has trained consistently and improved her performance significantly. By nearly every personal measure, she has made meaningful progress. Yet she finishes behind someone she hoped to beat and leaves feeling that the entire effort was unsuccessful. Her disappointment may be understandable. Competitive goals matter, and losing can be frustrating. But does one finishing position erase the progress she made?
Sportsmanship in Sports: You Can Want to Win and Still Celebrate Others
Recognizing our own progress also shapes how we respond to someone else’s success. Sportsmanship often means following the rules, accepting defeat gracefully, respecting officials, and treating opponents fairly. Those behaviors matter, but sportsmanship reaches further. It includes how we respond when someone else succeeds, how we acknowledge effort, and whether we can recognize another person’s achievement without feeling diminished by it.
A runner who races strategically against someone in her age category can show excellent sportsmanship by congratulating her afterward. A teammate who wants a starting position can still encourage the player who earns it. An athlete who loses a championship can feel disappointed while sincerely respecting the winning team.
Good sportsmanship does not require us to stop wanting to win. It asks us to remember that the people we compete against deserve the same dignity and respect we hope to receive.
I will share my knowledge with you, and together, we will run.
The lessons I learned in sports have shaped my professional career. In my work, I've embraced a straightforward philosophy: "I will share my knowledge with you, and together, we will run."
I never believed that sharing my knowledge or helping someone else develop their abilities would diminish my own opportunities. If I could help someone learn, become more confident, or discover a better way to accomplish something, we could both move forward. To me, leadership wasn't about staying ahead of others. It was about recognizing potential, sharing my knowledge, and supporting others as they achieved success.
That does not mean ambition disappears. We can pursue advancement, challenge ourselves, and strive for excellence without treating another person’s progress as a threat. The same principles I valued in athletics became part of how I worked with others: respect people’s talents, recognize their contributions, celebrate their accomplishments, and share knowledge that can help them grow.
These experiences remind me that what sports gave me never went away. The lessons of teamwork, confidence, and generosity continued shaping how I approached leadership long after my competitive playing days.
Perhaps the most meaningful test of that philosophy is this: can we help someone else succeed even if they eventually run faster than we do? I believe we can.
I will share my knowledge with you, and together, we will run.
— Linda Herron
Helping Girls Compete Without Losing Sight of Themselves
Those lessons matter as we encourage more girls to participate in sports. We celebrate the confidence, leadership, discipline, and resilience athletics can build, and we want girls to pursue ambitious goals, embrace challenges, and know they belong in competitive environments. Helping them develop a healthy understanding of success is part of that same responsibility.
A girl who measures every accomplishment against someone else’s performance may struggle to recognize her own progress. But a girl who learns to set personal goals, appreciate her development, and respect other athletes can build a broader understanding of achievement. She can still compete fiercely for championships and honors while celebrating a teammate’s success and respecting an opponent’s talent.
Adults can make those lessons visible. A coach who acknowledges progress as well as placement, a parent who recognizes effort after a disappointing result, or an experienced athlete who congratulates a competitor shows a girl that ambition and generosity can coexist. Those examples can stay with her long after her playing days end.
When we help girls appreciate their own progress while supporting their teammates, we also help them develop leadership skills through sports that can influence how they communicate, collaborate, and encourage others throughout their lives.
Whose Success Are You Measuring Yours Against?
These lessons extend beyond athletics and the workplace to the way we judge our own progress. We may compare our careers to someone else’s promotion, our accomplishments to another person’s recognition, or our progress to someone traveling a different path. Sometimes those comparisons inspire us. Other times, they distract us from understanding what we genuinely want.
Our goals do not have to stay the same throughout our lives. We may chase a finishing position in one race and a personal best in the next. What matters is knowing why that goal matters to us, rather than letting someone else’s performance decide.
The next time you find yourself measuring your performance against someone else, consider asking: Is this comparison helping me move toward a goal that matters to me? Am I learning something valuable, or have I become so focused on someone else’s performance that I have forgotten what I wanted to accomplish?
We can want to win and still reach out to congratulate the athlete who finishes ahead of us. We can take pride in a personal best even when no one else notices. Sometimes we score the goal. Sometimes we make the pass that gives someone else her moment. I have found meaning in both. Another athlete’s success does not take away the work we have done, the progress we have made, or what we have given to a team. There was room for my sister, for me, and for us. I can celebrate your success and still be proud of my own.
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Linda Herron is the Founder and CEO of Women Sports USA®. She is a former Division I field hockey athlete and coach, an author, and a business finance executive with over 40 years of experience.
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